Reflection #15
Assalamualaikum. So tonight I've been receiving a shocking news (which it is not supposed to be shocking) and it turned me upside down. These last two years, I have been through every single possible pains that I can experience yet I am standing still until today. People might see me as if I am 'okay' inside out but what is really happening, only God knows it. The bitterness I had to swallow when I fake a smile so that no one will be worrying about me. The pain I am holding every time I go to sleep crying, so painful I can't even breath properly. Even more painful when I am trying to stop myself from sobbing and crying and longing. The irritation when I have to lie just to make someone else happy, and to make myself happy. The lies that in the end turned me into a sadist, pathetic lonely girl. The fact that I tried to deny all this while had finally ate my soul, leaving my body almost soul-less, almost heartless. If only those pains can be seen by these two eyes of mi...