Reflection #10: What Do I Deserve
In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious and the Most Merciful.
All praises and thanks are due to Allah. And peace and blessings be upon His Messenger.
Looking back all these years, I mean along 23 years of breathing on His land, can't help but crying. I always wonder why did I chose to be far from Him before. It is very rude for me, as a servant to ignore Him. All these while, He gave everything to me and me? Taking Him for granted. Astaghfirullah al'azim :'( He prepared the earth for me to live. He gave me air to breath. He gave me my parents and family to love and be loved. He gave me healthy body to study and work. He gave me rezeki in all type of forms so I could live better and happier. And what did I gave Him? I ignore the do's and do the dont's. Deep down, I knew I was wrong but I never admit it. I am living arrogantly on His land. You can imagine it analogically. Someone lives in your big house. He/she are just staying there and non of the belongings are belong to him/her. Yet, he/she act like he/she owned everything. As the house owner, what'd you felt about it?
As the owner of this earth, the universe, what'd He felt when I did that?
And today, while working on my research report, I listened to I'tiraf sang by Raihan. Can't remember which song? Let me enlighten you a bit.
And suddenly tears streaming down my face. Allahuakbar! Just listening to the first line of the song and I sobbed. There's a play in my mind, playing back what I've done all these years. I am ashamed oh Allah :( After what I did, You still there with me. You still listen to my prays. You still help me out whenever I feel lost. You still guide me when I am confuse. Yes, You still love me after every sins I made.
He deserves my love. He deserves my remembrance. He deserves my loyalty. He deserves my servitude. He deserves all the praises. After what He had done, after what He had prepared for me, He deserves to get all the good deeds from me.
But,
Am I deserve to be in His paradise? Allahu :'(
I will try my best to be a good servant. And I will let go everything that stops me from getting closer to my Lord. May He bless us all. Be safe loves :)
p.s: I was supposed to share with you about surah An-Nisa' in this entry, but I am sorry I can't make it at least until next week. Will do later InsyaAllah :)
All praises and thanks are due to Allah. And peace and blessings be upon His Messenger.
Looking back all these years, I mean along 23 years of breathing on His land, can't help but crying. I always wonder why did I chose to be far from Him before. It is very rude for me, as a servant to ignore Him. All these while, He gave everything to me and me? Taking Him for granted. Astaghfirullah al'azim :'( He prepared the earth for me to live. He gave me air to breath. He gave me my parents and family to love and be loved. He gave me healthy body to study and work. He gave me rezeki in all type of forms so I could live better and happier. And what did I gave Him? I ignore the do's and do the dont's. Deep down, I knew I was wrong but I never admit it. I am living arrogantly on His land. You can imagine it analogically. Someone lives in your big house. He/she are just staying there and non of the belongings are belong to him/her. Yet, he/she act like he/she owned everything. As the house owner, what'd you felt about it?
As the owner of this earth, the universe, what'd He felt when I did that?
And today, while working on my research report, I listened to I'tiraf sang by Raihan. Can't remember which song? Let me enlighten you a bit.
He deserves my love. He deserves my remembrance. He deserves my loyalty. He deserves my servitude. He deserves all the praises. After what He had done, after what He had prepared for me, He deserves to get all the good deeds from me.
But,
Am I deserve to be in His paradise? Allahu :'(
Oh Allah, please forgive me. For all the sins I committed. Please forgive my parents. For all the sins they did. Please forgive my sisters. For all the sins they made. Please forgive my family. For all the sins we committed. Please forgive my friends. For all the sins they made. Oh Allah, please forgive all of us. Grant us your blessings. Grant us your loves. Grant us your guidance. You are the Most Forgiving and only You the place we turn back. Please accept all of our good deeds, and put us all among the people You love :')
I will try my best to be a good servant. And I will let go everything that stops me from getting closer to my Lord. May He bless us all. Be safe loves :)
p.s: I was supposed to share with you about surah An-Nisa' in this entry, but I am sorry I can't make it at least until next week. Will do later InsyaAllah :)
